Monday, October 04, 2004

"Touch me," Ida Perriello seems to say as she reaches out. "Hold me."

Her husband, Dr. John Perriello, takes her hand in his and her anxiety seems to fade away.

This scene plays out again and again at Kirkhaven , a nursing home on Alexander Street in Rochester where Ida Perriello, who has Alzheimer's, has resided since 1998.

It is repeated at facilities everywhere, as well spouses visit ailing spouses.

John Perriello, who is 83, the same age as his wife, spends every morning, seven mornings a week, with his wife.

"It's not hard at all for me," says Perriello, who lives in Irondequoit. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Still, his devotion inspires others.

"You've got to respect anybody who is that dedicated to their spouse," says Duane Girdner, the vice president for marketing for Seniorsfirst , which owns Kirkhaven.

And Perriello's skills are inspirational as well, for he has used his training as an acupuncturist to improve his wife's life. For about an hour a day, he rubs pressure points on her body, using his hands and small rollers. A chiropractor as well as an acupuncturist, Perriello doesn't use needles because he doesn't believe they are effective with patients over 60.

In his wife's case, the treatments have worked, he says, weaning her off medications, bringing back her appetite, calming her days.

Studies — one done by the Wellesley College Center for Research on Women — have shown acupuncture to help Alzheimer's patients, easing depression, improving blood flow to the brain, and sometimes helping with cognitive skills.

The Perriellos' son, Bruce Perriello of Rochester, agrees that the treatments have worked. And, indeed, as his father rubs his mother's hands, Ida, who doesn't speak, does seem better.

John Perriello met Ida DeSanctis when they were both 16 and students at Jefferson High School in the city.

"I was quite a hoofer in those days. I danced a lot of swing dance," says Perriello, who dresses every day as if he were on his way to a dance. Yellow summer hat. Checked coat. Black and white shoes. "Call me Dapper Dan," he says.

Perriello got to know Ida's sister as her dancing partner at a school event. The sister introduced him to Ida.

"I fell for her. She was a looker," he says.

They dated for six years and were married when they were 22. In addition to Bruce, the Perriellos had two other sons, John and Gary